SJ_the_Bartender
Perma-Newbie
If people just sat and thought about it for a moment, its really just a matter of common sense.
That gives me an idea for another topic...
That gives me an idea for another topic...
The many facets of "How to Raise a Kid"
- Thread starter The Venerable Jai
- Start date
Out of first had (receiving end); variable punishments are the only fit.
No one punishment is a "one size fits all", and I personally believe physical pain, when used sparingly, and appropriately for the problem is a good reinforcement.
However: I disagree strongly with any such notion of using anything OTHER that an open hand. To me, it is cruel to use a belt, a spoon, or any other instrument other than your own hand to administer a spanking. Why? Because you don't know exactly how hard to are spanking them, or exactly how much it hurts, unless you feel the sting yourself.
My parents resorted to spanking only as a last resort when I was being a complete tool. As such, it was a rare experience. And one often learned from.
No one punishment is a "one size fits all", and I personally believe physical pain, when used sparingly, and appropriately for the problem is a good reinforcement.
However: I disagree strongly with any such notion of using anything OTHER that an open hand. To me, it is cruel to use a belt, a spoon, or any other instrument other than your own hand to administer a spanking. Why? Because you don't know exactly how hard to are spanking them, or exactly how much it hurts, unless you feel the sting yourself.
My parents resorted to spanking only as a last resort when I was being a complete tool. As such, it was a rare experience. And one often learned from.
Ayaeth
New Member
Okay this is my opinion. But I have only read the first three posts, so please, if I say something somebody else has already said, then go ahead an poke me in the butt or something.
One: Children need to learn to respect people, things of value and how to behave in a public setting from a very early age.
I am subscribed to a free "mommy magazine called American Baby. A while back they posted an article on punishment and how to deal with "rowdy" children while you are waiting at a resteraunt for your order to come.
One of the ladies that contributed said that she would bring coloring books and crayons, marshmallows and toys for the kids to play with.. and be damned what the resteraunt or the other customers thought of the yelling and screaming and flying marshmallows (yes she stated that her kids were throwing them at each other). This is totally unacceptable and I do not see why somebody would let their three children throw marshmallows at each other or at other customers in a resteraunt.
In my opinion, this is the wrong way to keep your children occupied while doing something in public.
My sons are two years and 9 months. No I dont expect the 9 month old to be quiet, not throw food.. hes too young to understand that type of thing. But my two year old barely ever throws a fit in public, is extrodanarily loud, throws food (he NEVER does this), or does anything else socially unacceptable.
Another thing that is not allowed is cursing. Yes I do curse. and when you stub your toe thats already hurting from stepping on a toy in the living room floor, a severe curse does come out in the midst of virgin ears. Although my son does repeat these words sometimes (and gets a time out and a discussion why we dont say that) he has never said them out of the house unless prompted (most of the prompted words are 'bullcrap', 'poopy butt' and 'crappy').
But to not spank your child entirely leaves me to think that they will never understand the boundaries that all young children should have.
Its even scientifically proven that a child with boundaries turns out to be a better citizen.
I do have to admit though, there are some times where I have put my oldest son in the corner, or in his room with the baby gate up and it has worked better than spanking him on his diaper padded rear end.
But, only with things that I know I would "over discipline" my son for.
Like, not stopping coloring on the walls when I have told him three times before that day.
Or deliberately dumping the whole toy box in the middle of the floor.
I dont mind the toys in teh floor, but five minutes after I tell him to be good, he does something that he knows will get himself in trouble.
Anyway, my main point of view is this:
You dont discipline your children, they will misbehave and cause trouble.
You discipline them with the right kind for the right disobediance and you will get the desired results--- a well disciplined and wonderfully mannered child.
One: Children need to learn to respect people, things of value and how to behave in a public setting from a very early age.
I am subscribed to a free "mommy magazine called American Baby. A while back they posted an article on punishment and how to deal with "rowdy" children while you are waiting at a resteraunt for your order to come.
One of the ladies that contributed said that she would bring coloring books and crayons, marshmallows and toys for the kids to play with.. and be damned what the resteraunt or the other customers thought of the yelling and screaming and flying marshmallows (yes she stated that her kids were throwing them at each other). This is totally unacceptable and I do not see why somebody would let their three children throw marshmallows at each other or at other customers in a resteraunt.
In my opinion, this is the wrong way to keep your children occupied while doing something in public.
My sons are two years and 9 months. No I dont expect the 9 month old to be quiet, not throw food.. hes too young to understand that type of thing. But my two year old barely ever throws a fit in public, is extrodanarily loud, throws food (he NEVER does this), or does anything else socially unacceptable.
Another thing that is not allowed is cursing. Yes I do curse. and when you stub your toe thats already hurting from stepping on a toy in the living room floor, a severe curse does come out in the midst of virgin ears. Although my son does repeat these words sometimes (and gets a time out and a discussion why we dont say that) he has never said them out of the house unless prompted (most of the prompted words are 'bullcrap', 'poopy butt' and 'crappy').
But to not spank your child entirely leaves me to think that they will never understand the boundaries that all young children should have.
Its even scientifically proven that a child with boundaries turns out to be a better citizen.
I do have to admit though, there are some times where I have put my oldest son in the corner, or in his room with the baby gate up and it has worked better than spanking him on his diaper padded rear end.
But, only with things that I know I would "over discipline" my son for.
Like, not stopping coloring on the walls when I have told him three times before that day.
Or deliberately dumping the whole toy box in the middle of the floor.
I dont mind the toys in teh floor, but five minutes after I tell him to be good, he does something that he knows will get himself in trouble.
Anyway, my main point of view is this:
You dont discipline your children, they will misbehave and cause trouble.
You discipline them with the right kind for the right disobediance and you will get the desired results--- a well disciplined and wonderfully mannered child.
Last edited:
Sinful Feline
Well-Known Member
Thus, my point....Until you have a child of your own, you shouldn't give out advice on how to raise children.
P.S Ayaeth it sounds like your doing a fine job, but the worst and best is yet to come
Kids are both a blessing and a tool of insanity lol
P.S Ayaeth it sounds like your doing a fine job, but the worst and best is yet to come
Kids are both a blessing and a tool of insanity lol
MorianGrey
New Member
I'm sorry I know that this thread hasn't been posted on in nearly a month but I just feel the need to add to it.
I am the frustrated parent of a 9yr old ad 7yr old girls and a 6yr old boy. On the whole I have generally good children, but they do have there moments.
My 9yr old has ADD, when we were told this the Dr. said she would need medication in able to lead a normal life. This is a load of crap, she still has trouble paying attention at times(Mainly to me) but other then that is normal. She gets A's and B's in school. So just cause the doctor tells you to medicate your child don't, just give them some time to see if thats really what they need.
My 7yr old is a major drama queen, every little thing to her is a screaming and crying matter. That and she likes to give up to easily and make other do her work for her.
My 6yr old is a typical little boy, loud and a terror.
I tell you this because then you will understand the situation better. Me and my wife totally disagree on how to discipline the kids. She is a big softy and will regularly give in to the kids when they cry to her. Me, I'm the hard ass, I believe in discipline Wether it be grounding or a spanking. But these things don't always work, if I spank my son he will usually just look at me and laugh, so his punishment became just standing or sitting still. That seems to be the worst thing to do to an over active 6yr old. My daughters get grounded, things taken away, or a spanking as last resort.
The hardest problem to overcome with them is respect. They are influenced allot by there friends and our family. They see there friends disrespect there parents and then my kids try to do the same. It also doesn't help that my wife's family does not respect me. So now my kids think they can get away with the same. They are slowly learning through many groundings, added chores and some spankings that it is only what your parents say thats important.
So don't forget about outside influences when you talk about disciplining kids. The right or wrong influence can make all the difference, be it yours or someone elses.
I am the frustrated parent of a 9yr old ad 7yr old girls and a 6yr old boy. On the whole I have generally good children, but they do have there moments.
My 9yr old has ADD, when we were told this the Dr. said she would need medication in able to lead a normal life. This is a load of crap, she still has trouble paying attention at times(Mainly to me) but other then that is normal. She gets A's and B's in school. So just cause the doctor tells you to medicate your child don't, just give them some time to see if thats really what they need.
My 7yr old is a major drama queen, every little thing to her is a screaming and crying matter. That and she likes to give up to easily and make other do her work for her.
My 6yr old is a typical little boy, loud and a terror.
I tell you this because then you will understand the situation better. Me and my wife totally disagree on how to discipline the kids. She is a big softy and will regularly give in to the kids when they cry to her. Me, I'm the hard ass, I believe in discipline Wether it be grounding or a spanking. But these things don't always work, if I spank my son he will usually just look at me and laugh, so his punishment became just standing or sitting still. That seems to be the worst thing to do to an over active 6yr old. My daughters get grounded, things taken away, or a spanking as last resort.
The hardest problem to overcome with them is respect. They are influenced allot by there friends and our family. They see there friends disrespect there parents and then my kids try to do the same. It also doesn't help that my wife's family does not respect me. So now my kids think they can get away with the same. They are slowly learning through many groundings, added chores and some spankings that it is only what your parents say thats important.
So don't forget about outside influences when you talk about disciplining kids. The right or wrong influence can make all the difference, be it yours or someone elses.