Two Base Questions that most cannot answer completetly

[Mithrandirxx]

Who are you, and what do you want ?

In general you can answer these easily, but why go with general when you can go indepth. What makes you you ? What defines what ever your name is ? And what is it that drives you forward to move on with life and desire to continue to struggle ?

 

[Sinful Feline]

My past and my family is what has made me, me.
Being the oldest of 7 kids has always made me the ref. for fights, the balancer of problems and the listener for those in need of an ear to vent to or words of kindness to help.
Several years ago I was in what should have been a life ending accident. I had several broken bones, head trama and spent a month in a coma. It took a lot of time and phycial rehab. to fully recover. They doctors said I should have died on the scene, I survived, and in my eyes this made me a stronger person.

What drives me?
My son. I work long hours at a bar with a F'cked up boss lol, go to school so I can gain the skills to help me in my writting, I write short stories and make a little extra money from them, this money I put into a savings account for my son to use someday.
I work hard, spend what time I'm not working or in school with my child and push the limit of my being so that some day my child will live a better life.

 

[SJ_the_Bartender]

Awesome topic...

Who am I?

To the majority of people here, I am simply SJ. Nothing more than a name on the screen. Someone who spends way too much time on the computer. I'm often viewed as something of an asshole. I take some perverse pride in that. Its the assholes of the world who you know are honest, and I value honesty. Those who know my history may find that ironic, or hypocritical, but its true. I enjoy joking around. I don't take anything too seriously. I am a self-proclaimed computer geek, and I enjoy Role Playing games. Thats what the average person on these forums knows.

Here's some things that few people know. I was sexually abused as a child. I am a hopeless romantic. I have a sister, who'd I'd kill for, even though I make her life a living hell sometimes. The single biggest influence on my life is my Granny. She's deceased, but she still manages to influence me in wierd ways. I'm always surprised when I suddenly find myself thinking 'Hey, I'm doing this because of Granny.' all these years after she's been gone. I will only eat toast with Schmuckers strawberry jam. My favorite dog is the schnauzer(sp?). I battle mild depression. Nothing suicidal, just feelings of being worthless, and desire to not get up and do anything because of overwhelming apathy. I have an unfailing belief in the goodness of humanity as a whole, and the evilness of people as individuals. Shockingly, I am not an athiest. I firmly believe in darwinism/evolution, survival of the fittest, and that which doesn't kill me will make me stronger. I keep very few people who I call friends, and I don't understand people who manage to accumulate vast quantities of friends. However, once you have made it to my list, I'll basically bend over backwards for you in order to help you out. The problem is I sometimes have very odd ideas of what sort of help you need. See above concerning that with doesn't kill. I always try to be as efficient as possible. I hate waste.

What do I want?

What I want is very simple. Especially compared to who I am.

I want to be happy, and if I can do it without expenditure to myself, I want to make others happy too.

 

[Mithrandirxx]

Well to answer my own questions as it is only rude to ask and not to answer.

Who am I, I am known as Todd,Nick, Mith, and hundreds of other smaller titles here and there, yet none of them really clarify who I am. One could say my experinces accumulated are who I am, I was the youngest of three children. I was raised mainly by my mother, as far as I recall, my parents may not be divoreced, but while I was growing up the only times I remember seeing my father was on weekends and maybe once or twice a week when I would be going to bed. So often times I find it hard to even claim my father as my father. As the youngest in any family can tell you shit rolls down the age hill and it all hits you. With multiple siblings you learn how to mediate situations and barter your way through situations. You are also told you were adopted and that your siblings are elves from an alternate dimension sent to spy on you, for you will end the world. Seriously thats what my brother and sister told me. I believed in my Noble blood (Yes, honest Noblity ) until it was made evident I lived in a democracy when it came to thirteen pairs of fists to one proved the majority won. I made few friends, few and far between, being stabbed in the back more times than I care to count. I lost many close friends and my grandfather to suicide by the time I was eight. And that pretty much seems to be my base, I am a philosopher, a warrior, a fool, a mage, a poet, a theologian, a Hopeless Romantic, a Role player and an Otaku and yet more still. If I ever finish my autobiography perhaps that will explain it more. What Drives me is the need for knowledge and the ideal of romantic love.

What I want, I want contentment, ease and joy for those I care about as well as my self, and peace to accompany that contentment.

 

[The Venerable Jai]

Who am I? I'm Jai.

I've never been terribly fond of my real name, so I started going by J when I was younger. I had a southern-accented girlfriend I was attached to, once, and the way she said my name, it sounded like "j-ye." I came up with Jai on a lark one day. It's an acronym...JAI = [My real name]'s alternate identity.

I'm a devout believer that (metaphorically speaking), the Serpent in the Garden of Eden was the savior of humanity. It brought us the desire to learn and we're all addicted. I was an only child, but growing up with a farm family(the paternal side), it never feels that way because you have cousins that are as close as brothers and sisters. Growing up was confusing for me. Father, being a resident of the American South, wanted me to be good ol' American boy and Mother, being a stately Briton, wanted me to be refined and cultured. I can't begrudge them...I enjoyed playing football and I enjoyed learning Fencing...now if only mother hadn't insisted on those forsaken formal dancing lessons. Tact and prestation are more important to me then truth and expediency. I have no tolerance for ill manners (unless one is intoxicated) and gross-out humor.

What I want is not simple nor easily achieved. My desire is to ease the burden of my continuous (and uncontrollable) amorality by helping those I feel deserve it whenever I can.

 

[SJ_the_Bartender]

Tact and prestation are more important to me then truth and expediency. I have no tolerance for ill manners (unless one is intoxicated) and gross-out humor.

How is it that one of us hasn't killed the other? You basically hate everything I love. Yet somehow, we coexist, perhaps even on a friendly basis.

 

[Katsujirou]

I am Brendan.
I want beer.


Enough said.

 

[illogical_reality]

Since I've been gone a while, I'll answer late in the game.

I am many small things that make up a whole. I'm a mother, a sister, and a wife. I have only one friend that I trust completely and without question. I am a survivor of molestation and child abuse, who once a year, on the anniversary of the beginning, has a tendency to turn into the victim. I'm not always honest, but at the same time, I'm not a liar. I will, more often than not, keep back a part of myself and hide it from the world for protection purposes, but I rarely lie outright. I wear a mask in public and very few people have ever seen me cry. I push anger, fear, hate and depression behind the mask for the public and at home I let it all out in creative ways such as writing poetry or RP.

In general, I do not hate. I try to be forgiving and understanding and open-minded. I despise confrontation and will conceed the point to avoid it....well, most of the time. I have opinions that not everyone would agree with and that, after years of repression, I'm finally learning to express. If I'm not careful, I will let myself become a doormat because I still haven't learned an easy way to tell my parents no. Despite my past, I still believe there is good in the world and each person has something good about them, regardless of past transgressions.

I firmly believe that there is a God. I was raised southern baptist, but I'm not a religious person. I believe that soul mates do exist and that I have found mine. I'm a dreamer. My dreams are not always happy, therefore, the majority of my screen names are Perilous Dreamer, including my blog, e-mail and various other places. I chose Illogical Reality for .org because that's who I was before the crash of the previous site.

At this point in my life, I'm in limbo. I'm happy with my daughter and husband and love them more than my own life, but I haven't quite figured out how to give them the attention they need and deserve and still have the quiet time for myself that I need in order to survive. I'm not sure that explains all of who I am, but it's a nice start.

As for what I want....well, that's harder. I want to be happy without a black cloud hanging over me. I want my family to be happy and healthy. But, most importantly, I want my daughter to grow up without the pain that I experienced in my childhood.

 

[Oscuro]

I do not know who I am. I do not know what I want.

My parents are caring, more than anything they care possibly too much about others. Which lead them both into alcoholism that neither of them seem to be able to break free.
My sister is my first and foremost best friend. She knows me more than I know myself. She sees the best within me. She sees my potential, she sees what I could achieve.

I see the worst in me. I have buried my frustrations, my hate, my anger and compounded it. I know the side of my I refuse to let my sister see. I have wanted to physically harm people. I have wanted to draw blood, and cause pain to my best friend Nicole over something frivoulous.

I am simply put, afraid of myself, and what I am possibly capable of doing.

If you wish to know what I am good at, what I am great at, or the best sides of me, you would have to ask my sister, for I don't know. All that I see within me, is this:
I am a generalist. I am not good at any one thing, but okay at most everything.
I am intelligent, but not wise enough to use it.
I have little self discipline.

As for what I want? I want to free myself from this mask I have built around me, but fear it has attached itself and truely become who I am. I want to be free of the general depression that consumes my will and motivation.

 

[Rhysis]

I am a husband, a father, a poet, a writer, a christian, an actor, a security officer, a friend, a son, a brother, a grandson, a nephew, an uncle, a cousin, a role player.

I want a happy marriage, security, a good job, the American dream, friends, family and love.