I Can't Help Thinking...ACW

illogical_reality

The l33t One
Okay, so, this may just be overkill. I don't know. But I've had things going through my head all day and it's really got me depressed at this point because I'm not even sure if this friendship is able to be salvaged after all of the drama. I need another opinion. All are welcome to comment. I just need....I don't know. Reassurance maybe.

So, to make this as simple as possible, let me explain a few things. First of all, the person this post refers to has been a friend of mine, online, for the past 10 years. She is a female. It is not directed at anyone who frequents here. I will not give her real name because I don't think that's the way to handle this.

Now, on to the other stuff. I have a friend we'll call..."Sue" for the time being. As previously stated, Sue has been my friend for 10 years now. I met her through RP. We started as RP partners only, and then about two months into it, became friends. How is it really possible to avoid becoming friends with the people you RP with? SJ would say avoid anything personal, but, I'm not SJ and just cannot do that.

Anyway, Sue has been causing me alot of grief lately. As some of you may know, I live in Louisiana. When Katrina hit, I posted in my journal (http://perilousdreamer.livejournal.com but you won't be able to see anything unless you have an LJ and friend me) about how retarded people in Louisiana were acting at this time.

Now, I know throughout all of the Katrina crap, I was posting alot. It started as just an "I'm alive" for my online friends and developed into my own personal rant box. My friends on LJ are always informed beforehand that I bitch about alot of personal stuff, because, regardless of who can or cannot see it, for all intents and purposes it's still my personal journal. The chronicles of my life, if you will.

Well, a mutual friend of Sue and I had posted her own journal entry about how retarded it was that the media was basically blaming Bush for everything when he wasn't God and wasn't able to dictate the path of a hurricane. I agreed with this friend and left a comment stating as much. Sue, however, misread it or something and jumped me for no apparent reason. She called me "selfish" among other things. This really pissed me off and I cut her out of my life. After all, this wasn't the first time she had done something like that. She had previously told another mutual online friend that all I did was "whine" and "complain" and she was "tired of hearing it."

I was very upset at this and posted about it on my journal. Sue, however, took offense and said I was "making it public." How am I making things public when rather than coming to me in messenger to state her opinion, she stated it publicly on a public entry on a public journal? I do believe she got me confused with herself.

However, this cleared itself up eventually with her finally coming to me and telling me she had misunderstood. No apology. Nothing. Just, "Well, I misunderstood what you were saying." I left it at that because, after all, when you've been friends with someone so long, a few misunderstandings along the way are no reason to sever all ties.

At that point, I was fine. But, then a few months later, she and Marco get into a fight. Because I didn't choose Sue's side in the arguement, I once again turned into the bad guy. I had no idea any of this was going on. I just logged into messenger one day and am informed that I'm a stupid bitch. Uh...what? I was so confused. But, apparently, because I wasn't immediately jumping down my husband's throat to defend her, I was wrong.

This situation was eventually cleared up between her and Marco and then she started talking to me as if nothing had ever transpired. Uh.....whatever. Still, because of what we once had, I let her get away with not apologizing and with acting like a child.

Now, we come to more recent things. When I first found out about my ectopic pregnancy, I posted about it in my journal. I was nervous and afraid to care about the baby because I didn't know if I was going to lose it or not. Having gone through the emotional turmoil once before of expecting to have a baby and losing it because it was ectopic, I knew better than to let myself get too attached to the idea. Sue posted on my journal that I was "stupid for getting pregnant again." HELLO! Is this not MY life? Isn't this pregnancy MY choice?

I posted a rather long, and rather nasty letter aimed at Sue. She didn't like that too much and came to me and "explained" that she was just acting so childish because her baby was going through some trauma at that point that included the fact that he's in the hospital because of trouble with his heart. Okay. Maybe it's just stress. I let it go. Still, I haven't gotten an apology.

Again, I posted in my journal about not being sure how to feel about the baby. This time, instead of calling me stupid, she told me to get an abortion because what if the baby was born with a birth defect because of the meds I was on for the staph infection or what if Marco and I weren't financially stable enough for another child? Umm...first of all, she knows I'm pro life. Sue is pro choice. This has never been an issue between us before. But now she is telling me to go willingly get an abortion? I don't think so! And to top that off, she tells me that if she had known her own son would have been in the hospital so much that she would have had him aborted but now that she has him she wouldn't trade him for the world.

How can ANY mother say that about their own child? How could you look at that little bundle you have and say that you would have aborted it? I don't understand that. Not at all.

All of this, I ignored. When I went onto messenger, I stayed invisible because I didn't know what to say to her about her son, having never gone through that, and I didn't want to hear her talk about me aborting my child. So, to avoid trouble, to avoid blowing up, to avoid more stress than what was already on me, I stayed invisible.

She found out about it and blew up at me again last night. Because I was on invisible and because I dedicated a photo manip that I made to another friend.

Am I crazy? Is that the problem here? Cause I really don't understand this. I mean, seriously. Am I missing something here? What, exactly, have I done wrong other than to give her a second chance when maybe she didn't deserve it?

I can understand that she has problems, but at the same time, so do I and I cannot drop everything and pretend like my life is peachy keen when I'm dealing with my own problems, just to take care of hers. Does that really make me a selfish person?

On top of this, she keeps asking me why I don't talk to her about my personal problems on a one on one basis anymore. I've told her, she told a mutual friend that all I did was "whine" all the time and I didn't want to burden her with my problems if she didn't want to hear them. But somehow, that makes me a bad person as well, at least in her eyes.

So, my question is, am I really that bad of a person and that selfish or is she just fucking psycho? I have no clue. She keeps saying so and one of her friends who used to be a mutual friend of mine but who I no longer talk to agrees with her. And I just don't understand it.

Marco, of course, defends me. But that's what Marco does and his opinion in this doesn't count. I could be wrong in the eyes of the entire world, and Marco would still defend me. So, now what I need is an outside point of view. Cause I'm seriously trying to figure this out.

I'm stressed, I'm depressed, I'm angry, I'm hurt. I'm ready to fly to Montana just to slap her.

-Kim
 

Sinful Feline

New Member
She is a fucking psycho.
You are a caring person.
The only problem I see is that you gave her to many chances.
*Stands by MarcO* Now you've got two people
 

Rhysis

Well-Known Member
Staff member
I've had more than my fair share of finding out who my friends really were the hard way. It sucks. But, in the end, the people who stand by you no matter what are the ones you know you can always rely on.

To be fair, personal problems are dealt with differently by everyone. If hers are causing her to be abrasive, it's not too uncommon. However, that is no excuse for continually attacking somebody who is supposed to be a friend. Whether or not you overreacted or she overreacted has no bearing on it whatsoever.

You're better off not having this sort of influence in your life. Marco is right to stand by you, even if he weren't your husband.
 

Mithrandirxx

The Administration Mage
Staff member
Kim, Let me first start off in my typical fashion of a reply : Where are my human sacrifices ?!?!?!:

Alright now then, it seems that this "Sue" is a moronic twit, not worth the oxygen she's wasting to prolong her life. None the less to answer your main question you are not bad, in any other way that giving her too many opportunities to stab you in the back. As for selfish I have never seen you be selfish but you are Sj's groupie so it maybe possible for you to be such, yet I have not seen any evidence to that point. None the less with it as it stands you have Two people, a kitty, and a chickenhawk standing behind ya.
 

SJ_the_Bartender

Perma-Newbie
I'm going to side with sue. You're stupid.

Einstein once said that the definition of stupidity is to repeat the same actions over and over and expect a different response. You keep allowing this person into your life and expecting a different response from her. Thus, I will call you stupid. Not to flame you, but more because you fit the definition given. Ok, maybe to flame you a little bit, but thats just me. You know how I roll.

Ok, so on to your question. Are you selfish? At this point, I lean towards yes. However, I believe that all people are inherently selfish to begin with, and that no act is ever truly altruistic.
 

Ceros

<b>Tech-*****</b>
Rhysis, did you even read past SJ's first line before you bothered posting?


illogical_reality: To be quite honest, I see a lot of immaturity in both of you. You cut her out of your life for calling you selfish? Because of a misunderstanding about a GW comment? I mean, I'm sorry but that isn't very mature to start with. And what's with all this online "he said / she said" type crap. She made a comment to a friend who felt they had to run over and tell you, and you got upset? She's doing the same thing you are - venting and voicing her opinion, but in private to a friend. Is she a dumb bitch? Probably, but are you going to get pissed at her for venting?

This whole thing reeks of eDrama. Just shitcan her as a friend, and move on. You're doing what you believe to be right, and it isn't something she should think she can dictate. She's a retard, move on. Don't be so passive aggressive in the future.

I hope everything is OK with the kid - is sounds like he or she is going to a good home.
 
Top Bottom