Hey Madi and Wolf, thanks for the B-Day wishes, and Madi my wife will help you better on this then me. Here she is.
Hi there!, heh well to answer that Q..?..hahaha..wish I knew too! lol..jk..For we here, well heres the deal currently, the oldest is pretty good about communicating everything, and shes more low keyed about most everything, so to understand and get an explanation about whats bug gin her is np there, thank god!..Now as for the younger one..OK now shes the one giving us the most headache and heartache ever!..She doesn't cry when shes upset, she gets moody, bitchy and yes at times, physical..mostly to her sister who just lets it slide, unless I'm around then theres some words going back and forth..So how to get whatever is bug gin the kid out?, thats hard, cause she always replies with a question of..Why..I ask whats wrong..or whats going on that shes in a bad mood..and there you go..you get nothing!..A stare, A look..and a few mumbled words..I hate that shit!..I want to be helpful, so I ask, but you know you're gonna get nothing..SO heres what I figured out so far, shes still trying to figure out who she is..why she is and whats ahead of her the way she is..We all know outside of the house shes very well liked, and her friends..god..sometimes I wished they saw how she is with us..I did ask her how come her friends gets to see and be with the nice and kool Z..but not us??..and her reply was...cause we're family?!..makes me nutty in the head! Theres no real right or wrong way of things that we're all doing..its the Kid right now..its time they need and space we gotta try and give..I know its a daily thing for us dealing with her..but we keep trying to remember, she been a pretty good kid right through, and if a few outbursts of nasty attitude here an there comes out, Hell we'll take it over other shit that can happen!!..So hang in there Madi!! *hugs*..we got some long days and nights of frustration, heartache ahead of us, but know that..as moms/parents, we can only do our best to give our best in any form that they can and hopefully one day, get it slapped into their heads..Oh Shit!..so THATS what mom was trying to say..or show me..or express to me!!...Since our oldest prefers to go say whats on her mind and move on from there..and the younger one prefers to make everyones existance miserable when she is..I think its a searching thing for them..we as adults have learned to realize, its better to communicate rather than lashing out in any form , especially to the ones who cares and loves us no matter what!
I hope that my wife helped you on that Madi, now is my turn to add some more words per my wife's request.
There is the matter of undying love that our kids ask about. Most kids are also worried if we are still going to love them regarding the questions and choices they make. Most kids are fearful that we as parents might not love them anymore if they make the wrong decision or choice in their future. Our oldest has been asking that for the past three years, especially with questions such as, "If I become a criminal mastermind in the future, will you still love me?"
Us as parents how we feel about our children already know that answer, majority of parents out there will love their children no matter what happens. It is up to us as parents to remind them of that, no matter how many times it takes repeating ourselves. We as parents have an undying love for our children, and virtually anything can not destroy that except our children within their own minds. There are very few cases out there in which the parent will not love their child anymore, but that is not the case with the majority of the world.
So for your teenage girl, just continue to ask her when something is wrong despite the headache you may get from her crying more or attitudes, that is normal for most teens. We also need to remind them that we do care even when they think we do not, and that we always love them. We also need to remind them that even when they think we don't care, we do, it just that they make it difficult for us to even show it cause they think we overreact or just acting stupid cause we can't figure it out ourselves. We don't have ESP you know.
Me and my wife wish you luck Madi, and hang in there. Any more questions or help needed, always feel free to ask. Laterz.
