Since I've been gone a while, I'll answer late in the game.
I am many small things that make up a whole. I'm a mother, a sister, and a wife. I have only one friend that I trust completely and without question. I am a survivor of molestation and child abuse, who once a year, on the anniversary of the beginning, has a tendency to turn into the victim. I'm not always honest, but at the same time, I'm not a liar. I will, more often than not, keep back a part of myself and hide it from the world for protection purposes, but I rarely lie outright. I wear a mask in public and very few people have ever seen me cry. I push anger, fear, hate and depression behind the mask for the public and at home I let it all out in creative ways such as writing poetry or RP.
In general, I do not hate. I try to be forgiving and understanding and open-minded. I despise confrontation and will conceed the point to avoid it....well, most of the time. I have opinions that not everyone would agree with and that, after years of repression, I'm finally learning to express. If I'm not careful, I will let myself become a doormat because I still haven't learned an easy way to tell my parents no. Despite my past, I still believe there is good in the world and each person has something good about them, regardless of past transgressions.
I firmly believe that there is a God. I was raised southern baptist, but I'm not a religious person. I believe that soul mates do exist and that I have found mine. I'm a dreamer. My dreams are not always happy, therefore, the majority of my screen names are Perilous Dreamer, including my blog, e-mail and various other places. I chose Illogical Reality for .org because that's who I was before the crash of the previous site.
At this point in my life, I'm in limbo. I'm happy with my daughter and husband and love them more than my own life, but I haven't quite figured out how to give them the attention they need and deserve and still have the quiet time for myself that I need in order to survive. I'm not sure that explains all of who I am, but it's a nice start.
As for what I want....well, that's harder. I want to be happy without a black cloud hanging over me. I want my family to be happy and healthy. But, most importantly, I want my daughter to grow up without the pain that I experienced in my childhood.