Okay this is my opinion. But I have only read the first three posts, so please, if I say something somebody else has already said, then go ahead an poke me in the butt or something.
One: Children need to learn to respect people, things of value and how to behave in a public setting from a very early age.
I am subscribed to a free "mommy magazine called American Baby. A while back they posted an article on punishment and how to deal with "rowdy" children while you are waiting at a resteraunt for your order to come.
One of the ladies that contributed said that she would bring coloring books and crayons, marshmallows and toys for the kids to play with.. and be damned what the resteraunt or the other customers thought of the yelling and screaming and flying marshmallows (yes she stated that her kids were throwing them at each other). This is totally unacceptable and I do not see why somebody would let their three children throw marshmallows at each other or at other customers in a resteraunt.
In my opinion, this is the wrong way to keep your children occupied while doing something in public.
My sons are two years and 9 months. No I dont expect the 9 month old to be quiet, not throw food.. hes too young to understand that type of thing. But my two year old barely ever throws a fit in public, is extrodanarily loud, throws food (he NEVER does this), or does anything else socially unacceptable.
Another thing that is not allowed is cursing. Yes I do curse. and when you stub your toe thats already hurting from stepping on a toy in the living room floor, a severe curse does come out in the midst of virgin ears. Although my son does repeat these words sometimes (and gets a time out and a discussion why we dont say that) he has never said them out of the house unless prompted (most of the prompted words are 'bullcrap', 'poopy butt' and 'crappy').
But to not spank your child entirely leaves me to think that they will never understand the boundaries that all young children should have.
Its even scientifically proven that a child with boundaries turns out to be a better citizen.
I do have to admit though, there are some times where I have put my oldest son in the corner, or in his room with the baby gate up and it has worked better than spanking him on his diaper padded rear end.
But, only with things that I know I would "over discipline" my son for.
Like, not stopping coloring on the walls when I have told him three times before that day.
Or deliberately dumping the whole toy box in the middle of the floor.
I dont mind the toys in teh floor, but five minutes after I tell him to be good, he does something that he knows will get himself in trouble.
Anyway, my main point of view is this:
You dont discipline your children, they will misbehave and cause trouble.
You discipline them with the right kind for the right disobediance and you will get the desired results--- a well disciplined and wonderfully mannered child.